Wadi Rum Camel Ride

Dating Advice from a Single Person

It snowed today.

It gave me a chance to reflect.

To reflect on the end of 2014 and the first quarter of 2015.

Of everything that has happened in my life in 4 short months.

Of changes that I have made to be a better person.

Of things I regret.

Mostly I thought of the relationships in my life.

I claim to write a lifestyle blog, so I would be remiss if I didn’t talk about the one thing most humans crave in their lives –

companionship

Though, let’s not forget one huge important thing here,

I’m almost 32, single, no kids, and never been married.

What the fuck do I know about companionship??

I’m not an expert. I’m not even a novice.

Of all the advice and attempts to make you ponder things I write about, this is the one that you should probably just take with a grain of salt.

But these are the things I’ve learned over the past four months.

Codependency is not a forbidden word

In the dating world, we’ve been conditioned to appear 100% happy on our own. Independent. Not relying on anyone but ourselves. Willing and excited to live out our lives all by ourselves if the right person never comes along. Because if you show a potential partner, too soon, that you will depend on them for emotional support, clearly there must be something wrong with you. Society says you’re supposed to be a one-man wolfpack and f*ck everybody else.

That’s horse shit. Absolutely we should be able to function in society and find happiness within ourselves. But to say it’s wrong to be happier when we’re with someone is nonsense.

In the book Attached, psychologists Amir Levine, M.D., and Rachel Heller, M.A., address the codependency myth. They present that dependency is exactly what helped humans survive and evolve through one of the three different attachment styles humans display: Anxious, Avoidant, and Secure. And while I’m not going to write a full-up book report on it, I will say that they present a science-based, biological argument for ‘dependency’ to be coded into the grain of our genetics. So to lie to yourself and say that you don’t want to have someone to share your life with is arguing against human biology.

Once you’ve accepted that you are going to rely on your partner’s emotional support, you can start finding partners that are compatible with your individual needs.

Be your best self you can possibly be

That’s different than “just be yourself.” If I continued to just be myself, 32 years of data points show that I would remain single.

No one will ever be perfect. Not your partner, and most assuredly, not you. Even less than you, me.

So after a particularly difficult breakup, I took a long look in the mirror. What are my weaknesses? What recurring items kept popping up as reasons for breaking up?

There were more than several.

And I set out to fix them.

I didn’t want to fix them for “the next” girl that came along. I wanted to fix them for me. Because if I am being dumped for the same reasons over and over again, the problem is not with the women; it’s with me. So I needed to change those things.

For me.

That doesn’t mean I had change everything about me. I’m not all bad. And neither are you. You only need to change or improve the things you know that are affecting your relationships.

And that’s what I mean by being the best version of yourself.

Stay true to yourself

This is a continuation of the last one. This is making sure you keep doing the things that make you, you. That initially attracts people to you. That make you desirable.

For me, it’s having literally zero ego in making fun of myself and the fact that I’m about to set out on Van Life.

If you’re looking for a guy that dresses to the nine’s and cares what he looks like day in and day out, that’s not me. If you’re looking for a guy that’s gonna buy you that new Gucci bag (are those still a thing?), that’s not me. (I will buy you a new harness or a lighter climbing pack so we can go climbing together though.) If you want a big house and fast car, that’s not me. My car is my house, and it’s not fast.

I’m weird.

Very weird.

And that’s what makes me who I am.

Finding love in weirdness

 

Those things, compared to the shortcomings my ex-girlfriends have graciously pointed out to me, are not huge character flaws. If you still like me, despite those quirks, then maybe we’d be compatible.

And the same goes for you. Maybe your hobbies are bowling and roller skating. You don’t have to stop doing those things because you have a bad track record. Maybe you just need to identify the partners that are attracted to roller skating bowlers and the places they hang out (besides a bowling alley and/or roller rink).

Bad timing ruins everything

No matter how compatible or how perfect you may be with someone, you can’t control timing. In the beginning, you are two separate people with two different life plans. Maybe one plan heads East and the other plan heads West. Maybe one plan is skiing and the other plan is rock climbing.

There is no magical cure for making both people happy in the beginning. It is up to both of you to make the timing work, if you want it to work. But if their life plan is more integral to their long-term happiness, there is nothing you can do to force them to change their mind. And you shouldn’t. It’s up to two people to make things work.

A quote from Frankie that has stuck with me for over 6 years sums up timing concisely –

“We typically get what we want, eventually. We just might not get it when we want it.”

How to Make a Flowchart for Your Website

While Semi-Rad seems to be the Godfather of the outdoor blogger flowchart craze in which he helps you poop outside, Justin from the The Stone Mind also put together a lot of worthwhile information on helping determine what type of climbing is right for you.

Just like the rest of my site, I actually don’t serve any purpose. What I bring to the table is industry standard, accurate flowchart formatting (where the other two fell short). In some circles, that is absolutely critical. Those are the worst kind of circles. Like engineering.

So, you think YOU want to put a flowchart on your blog? Here, let me help you decide what it should be about.

Outdoor Flowchart

Backcountry Pooping Stories

Yup! It is exactly what this title is talking about!

I got the idea for this magnificent post when my roommate sent me some pictures and links to the climbs she did when she visited the Bugaboos last summer. In one of those links from Mountain Project was this gem:

Click ze picture to go to the Mountain Project route website, mkay?

I had to promptly post that to my Facebook and Twitter pages (obvis) and proclaim that to be the most magical place to poop ever. And then I thought:

Fart jokes are always funny. And so are pooping stories. I bet my friends have a few they could share!

And so they did. And here they are. “Enjoy”!

Pooping Makes you Climb Harder

Justin Fricke – The Weekend Warrior

It was on a climbing trip to Foster Falls in October 2013. My girlfriend and I had been climbing with our friends all day, and everyone wanted to get one last send under their belts. I had been feeling a little uneasy below my belt for part of the day.

Some of us wanted to send this sweet looking 5.10a, and I agreed to clean the route if someone would set it. With only one person left to climb, it hit me. I excused myself and scurried down the 45 degree angle mountain in my Chacos, grabbing leaves as I went and forgetting to check if they were littered with chiggers.

Once I was out of sight with a handful of leaves, I found a perfect area with three trees lying on the ground forming a triangle. I jumped into the center, dug a quick little cat hotel, and upon standing up, I noticed I made a terrible error. I was standing in the middle of a thorn bush!

Since I was about to burst at the seams, I carefully lowered my pants and made sure my junk and rear stayed clear of those thorns. Holding onto a tree and leaning back, I let it go and experienced a slice of Heaven. After cleaning myself with the leaves I had collected on the way down, I made my way back to the trail, jumped on Premarital Drilling (5.10a), and flashed that sucker!

After the euphoria of sending my first 5.10a had passed, I realized something. My rear end wasn’t accustomed to such a rough texture, and I had the worst pain back there for a couple days after.

Oh well. At least I got the send!

You can Poop in Slot Canyons, Right?

Kristie Salzmann – An Appetite for Adventure

Someone caption this for me down in the comments!
Someone caption this for me down in the comments!

This past October I hiked Buckskin Gulch in southern Utah with Joshua and a few others.  During this 22 mile hike, you are in a gorgeous slot canyon the majority of the time.  Because of the fragile ecosystems of these canyons, hikers are given bags that look like they are from outerspace.  No seriously, they look like a weather balloon!  Our group had taken a few with the hopes of never having to use them.  Fast forward about 15 miles and 6 or so hours, and I was feeling the need to move faster because I didn’t want to use one of those dang bags!  Cue canyon floor becoming a river up to my ankles or even knees and our progress slowed.

Somewhere around mile 18 I was in pain.  Joshua asked what was wrong, and I clued him in that I might need one of those weather balloons. I was hoping to make it past the water area, but ten minutes later I was yelling for a bag…in complete darkness…on a rocky shoulder of said creek.

Teetering with my headlamp to navigate parts of the process, I opened the shiny silver bag to expose the garbage bag that I would have to do my business in, followed by tying it off and having to shove it all back into the silver bag, to then close in much the same fashion as a Ziploc.  Turning my headlamp off, I did the deed and then quickly realized I then had to carry said bag for the remaining miles. Which I did.

It was possibly my most satisfying poop ever!

Off-Trail Surprise!

Landon Faulkner – Climb For Change

I started climbing Mt Olympus in the Wasatch front near Salt Lake City, UT very early in the morning. During the last few hundred foot scramble to the summit, I realized I had made a huge mistake. I forgot to do my deed back at the house in my early morning stupor and would soon need to poop. Once at the summit, I checked my pack for my wipes and pack-out bag and made the horrifying discovery: I had forgotten both!

After some pondering of my plight, I formulated a plan. I would descend the backside of the mountain and loop back around to the trail after finishing my business. I tore a few blank sheets from the summit registry (thank goodness for those pages) and headed down. I found a spot with adequate coverage, dug a good hole, and went about my business. No sooner had I begun than I started hearing approaching voices. Now I was really in trouble! I had to finish up and quick!

Seconds before the voices came into view, I buried my little pit toilet and tried to look natural. Why can’t people just use the trail?

 

If there’s one thing we can all learn from this, it’s that pooping outside is one of the best feelings you may ever experience!

Just Be

I am just sitting. In the sun. In the wind. My pale, Nordic skin feeling the burn of the uv rays. My hair blowing in the breeze.

I am just

Being.

Being alive. Being present. Sitting.

Pondering. Thinking. Plotting. Enjoying.

I am not entertained. I am not bored. Content.

This is the first time in nearly 2 months I’ve done this. It feels good.

I have responsibilities, tasks, that I should be doing.

But this air, this sun, this location…

Being

Is all I want to be right now.

The dull ache in my muscles from yesterday’s climbing keeps me fused to this seat. The sense of accomplishment of mostly picking up where I left off last season, dulls the screams of an ever-growing to-do list.

Because I am here. Right now.

The hustle and bustle of getting to the ski resort to push my limits even further returns tomorrow morning. Along with weekly chores of getting ready for the work week.

In this moment, I have been sitting on the deck for no less than 45 minutes. This post, the first actual, actionable display of awareness. Otherwise,

Sitting. Enjoying. Content. Being.

Current Soundtrack of my Life

Music has the ability to change your mental state, and other times it just represents your mental state for any given amount of time.

During some of my “dark days” years ago, I listened to a lot of metal/rock. For some reason, during climbing season I listen to a lot of underground hip-hop. But over the past month, I’ve been so extraordinarily happy that Top 40 pop music has really been speaking to my groove spot.

Some lyrics make it obvious as to why that song has made my playlist. Others just have a nice, upbeat feeling to them…even if I don’t know the actual lyrics or meaning of the song itself. And lastly, some of the songs just remind me of certain people that have been apart of this special time in my life, even if they aren’t particularly applicable.

Here’s the list. And then you can listen to all of them in the embedded YouTube playlist below. Enjoy! (Or make fun of me for listening to Top 40 Pop. Either are acceptable.)

Happy by Pharrell
Young Blood by The Naked and Famous
Mountain Sound by Of Monsters and Men
Best Day of My Life by American Authors
Counting Stars by One Republic
We Can’t Stop by Miley Cyrus (YUP!!)
Monster by Eminem and Rhianna
Come with me now by Kongos
Let her go by Passenger
Breezeblocks by Alt-J
Thiskidsnotalright by Awolnation
Titanium by David Guetta
Punching in a Dream by The Naked and Famous
I Love it by Icona Pop

(Please note: some songs contain explicit lyrics and possibly some visuals you might not want other people to see as they walk by your computer.)

What being Happy has Taught Me About Myself

The past 2 months have been completely eye-opening to me in many ways I’m unable to describe. I’ve discovered things about myself, accepted things people have often told me but rarely believed, and have really taken grasp of what it means to be “me”.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m always as real as possible. I’m never fake, and I allow you all into some of the most personal aspects of my life. People from the online world are never surprised when they meet me for the first time. I never take anybody completely off-guard. What you read on here, how I interact on social media, it’s all me. I’m like that when I’m staring at a computer screen, and I’m like that when I’m staring at you face-to-face.

But there are some things that I keep guarded. You could call that deception by omission if you want, but to me, I’m not hiding things from you because of you. I’m hiding them from you because of me and how I perceive those things to be when portrayed by others.

But it’s time to stop believing that.

It’s time to stop denying certain things that I think are awesome…

I make fun of bros.

But I’m totally a bro.

In the past 3 weeks I’ve collected 3 new straight-brimmed hats. On top of the one I already had.

I’ve drank more PBR than limited release craft brews. By dollar amount. And I have several bottles that are worth $50 a piece.

My collection of tank tops continue to grow. Even during winter.

I’ll never wear skinny jeans or skater shoes because they don’t appeal to me or look good on me, and I’ll never talk like a bro.

But other than those three things, being a bro isn’t really being a bro.

To me, the tanks, the straight brimmed hats, the beanies, the plaid (oh gosh, the plaid), the PBR, it’s all a representation of lifestyle. It’s not who you are.

Meaning,

I’m not uneducated. Far from it.

I’m not a thug. I’ve never thrown a single punch.

I’m not floundering for direction in life. I’m too tightly bound to a path I started to follow long ago.

I’m just a guy that loves climbing. That loves snowboarding. That loves the lifestyle these people represent. I can’t help that dressing in a certain way makes you think I’m fulfilling some kind of stereotype. I can’t help that drinking PBR makes me a lower class citizen in your eyes.

I’ve recently started looking beyond all that. Looking past the clothing. Looking past the language (if it’s possible – it can’t get definitely get to be too much at some point).

And looking at the people behind their mask.

They are like me, only able to break free from the norm. They sacrifice financial stability to do what they love. They are passionate about one thing. Obsessed maybe. And they live it day in and day out.

I am like that on so many levels. But unable to break free from the self-imposed shackles. It makes so much sense that I connect with these people: the driven, the passionate. Why shouldn’t I try to be more like them? In ways that I am comfortable doing so?

I’ve always been envious of people that just do not care. I’ve been drawn to these people too. These people are so confident in themselves, in whatever they’re doing, they really don’t care what others think.

And I’m beginning to gain that confidence in myself. I’m beginning to let my guard down. And be me.

I wish everyone could do this. But it has taken me 30 years to do it. I can’t expect everyone else to join in all at once.

It has taken me an entire month of utter elation to realize all of this. It’s amazing what being happy can do for your psyche. Especially for long periods of time.

Denying who you are, or what you want, or hiding those things from others, is one of my biggest turn-offs when meeting someone for the first time. Never deny yourself happiness. Or inspiration. Do you. Be confident. And you’ll attract others that want to be around you.

Don’t be surprised if I’m wearing one of those wide-banded leather bracelets like the lead singer from Nickelback and owning that isht the next time you see me. You might make fun of me at first, but eventually I’ll trap you in my web of confidence and you’ll see what being happy can do for the other aspects of your life.

Southwest Airlines Travel Tips for the #OmniTen #OmniGames

Disclaimer: I’m just a dude that reads the  fine print. I’ve not tried this before or done the research to see if someone out there has and written a blog post about it. So, if this interests you, call your local Southwest Rep. and verify.

Special Checked Luggage

I was perusing Southwest’s “special luggage” section, and noticed that if you have a ski/snowboard bag that zips into two separate pieces, it still only counts as one checked bag. From their site:

Snow ski equipment, including skis or snowboards, ski boots, and ski poles. Effective March 1, 2012: including one pair of skis or one snowboard, one set of poles, and one pair of ski/snowboard boots encased in a container(s) acceptable to Carrier. When substituting ski equipment for a free bag, Southwest Airlines allows up to two bags (containing one set of snow skis, ski poles, and ski boots) to count as one item, even if they are packed and tagged separately.

Note: Snow ski equipment will not be subject to excess size charges. However, excess weight charges may apply.

The way I read that is as long as the two pieces of luggage are still less than 50lb. each, it still only countins as 1 piece of checked luggage. Perfect for hauling all your swag back in the “second” piece of checked luggage that you’ll get at the #OmniGames.

Again, don’t trust me. Call to verify.

Two-Piece Snowboard Bag

Need an example of a bag that fits the above description magically? Here’s one, and I’m sure there are more:

Burton Wheelie Locker Snowboard Bag from REI.

Click for product on REI’s website.

 

1,000 Twitter Followers Giveaway

Update!!! New Prize added. See bottom of post.

Well, I can’t say that I got there fast, but I finally made it! Almost. Actually, right at this instant, I only have 999. Which means I lost two from yesterday. Their loss.

To follow me, click the button on the right ——->

or click here

To Enter:

You don’t just get picked randomly. It would be pretty hard to pick fairly while scrolling through 1,000 names with my eyes closed. And this way ensures the prizes go to the followers that actually interact with me. Those are the best!

  1. Be following me on Twitter by December 24th. (Yup, Christmas Eve)
  2. Comment on THIS post with your real name and Twitter name. Telling me what prize you want on Twitter, emailing me, commenting on Facebook….none of that will be valid. You MUST comment here to make my life easier.
  3. When you comment, let me know what prize you’d prefer. Not everyone drinks booze and not everyone climbs (silly people). If you have no preference, just say “anything”. But I highly suggest a preference.
  4. That’s it!

Prizes, Items, and Swag

In no particular order:

  1. An autographed poster of Courtney (Sanders) Woods bouldering a V9 down in Hueco Tanks
  2. A poster of Sasha DiGiulian crushing “Pure Imagination”, 5.14d
  3. A poster of Chelsea Rude doing some crazy 5.12c in Foster Falls
  4. Two packages of Starbucks Via (16 individual servings total) for those cold mornings
  5. GSI Flask for your backcountry booze of choice. For those cold mornings?
  6. Camp Nano rack pack carabiners
  7. Climb X nut set
  8. Leftover/Random stickers (each winner will get some stickers, any leftover will go to someone/people else)
  9. 101 Things to do with Bacon cookbook

How I’ll Choose

After everyone comments below, I’ll literally put everyone’s name in a vessel at some point on Christmas Eve (December 24) and pull at random. If that person has a preference, HOORAY!! That’s what you get. If you just said “anything”, well, you’ll be put off to the side and you’ll still get a prize, but you’ll get whatever’s leftover. (That’s why I encourage a preference, or a prioritized list. 😉 )

Once they’re all gone; they’re gone, and I will contact the winners for their address.

Sound good? Good. Now make sure you’re following me!

Twitter Giveaway

Newly added:

Photo Dec 18, 4 45 21 PM

Refurbishing Rusted Cast Iron Cookware

Like any good adventurer, or any good cook for that matter, I love cooking in, on, and around cast iron. Not so much “around” it, because that’s pretty useless. I just wanted to round out my preposition series.

Until recently, the only cast iron in my possession has been a 10″ chicken fryer. Sure, I can bake casseroles, cakes, and fry….well, chicken, in it, but it’s a somewhat limited piece of cookware. When my grandmother passed away in August, I managed to come home with some righteously old school, high quality cast iron. I got a 3″ egg pan and an 8″ frying pan. The only problems were that they had decades of food build-up and starting rust.

I’m sure we’ve all seen pans in these conditions at garage sales or secondhand stores and passed them up because they were “worthless”, but you will not be so foolish anymore after reading this!

These two pans, along with the chicken fryer when I received that one as well, have all been refurbished in the exact way. If you do a little google searching, you will find tons of information on the subject. In fact, that’s where my dad got his information so I’m not claiming this to be a definitive source. I’m just saying we’re (mostly, “he’s”) batting 100% on refurbishing more than 6 pieces of cast iron.

Oddly, this is a lot of fun too. You take a nasty, black, food-crusted, dried out, rusty piece of cast iron and transform it into something nearly brand new. Let’s get cookin’! (Did you catch the pun?)

De-Gunking your Cast Iron

First, grab a beer and start a campfire. Then, drink a second beer as you build up a nice base of coals. Once you’ve got decent flames and decent coals, throw the cast iron right on in. Yes, that’s right. Throw your cast iron in the fire. This will burn off all the previous seasoning, excess grease, and food build-up. You can see on the right where the pan has actually started on fire because of that nastiness.

Cast Iron in Fire

If you’ve got a good fire and good coals, it should only be in for around 30 minutes. Any more and you may end up warping your cookware. Es no bueno. And speaking of warping, these pans may very well be cherry red as you’re taking them out. First of all, please don’t grab them with your hand. Jesus. Secondly, use utensils like shovels and sticks and anything else that isn’t your hands, but be very careful not to drop them on a hard surface. Again, cherry red metal deforms easily. Thirdly, don’t cool them ultrafast. Not only could that causing warping too, but you could actually crack your cast iron too. And then it’s really worthless.

What we do is keep them in the fire pit, but pull them off to the side. Then after awhile, put them up on the grass closest to the fire. And finally, pull them away so they can fully cool.

When you’re done in the fire, you should easily be on your 3rd or 4th beer, and your cast iron pans should look like this:

Cast Iron after Fire

And now you might be thinking: “OMG WTF?!?!” Translated, that means: “Oh my, this is worse than when I started. Whatever shall I do?”

Don’t worry, this is where it starts to get awesome.

All that brown and white crusty stuff is all the previous gunk that still on the pan, but no longer attached to the metal. Put some gloves on, wear a mask, and take some steel wool to the cast iron. Most of it should all flake off pretty easily. For the most part, the metal should feel smooth to the touch, even if it is still discolored and rusty in places.

Next, mix a tub or utility sink or any other liquid holding vessel with one part white vinegar and one part water. i.e. 1/2 gallon of vinegar, 1/2 gallon of water…or whatever it takes to completely submerge your cast iron in the mixture.

Let it soak as long as needed until the rust spots all disappear, but NO LONGER THAN 4 HOURS. (I wasn’t yelling, that just needed to be emphasized.) After 4 hours, the vinegar can actually start to damage the cast iron. (You can gently rub the rust spots with steel wool again to see if they’re gone or if they need to soak longer.)

Cast Iron in Vinegar

Once you think the rust has all disappeared, get out your gloves, mask, and trusty steel wool one last time. Give your cast iron a good working over with the wool, and don’t be afraid to take a new piece of steel wool if yours is getting dull/wearing out. This is the last chance for you to get all of the gunk and rust off your pans. They should really start looking new again after this.

Scrubbing Cast Iron

Rinse your pans thoroughly with water, do a quick dry with a towel, and then get them in a hot oven to evaporate the remaining water. If you know what you’re doing and watch closely, you could also do the final evaporation over a gas burner too. The key here is to not let them stay too dry too long without a protective layer of grease. Without that layer, NEW rust will literally begin to form right in front of your eyes. Es no bueno.

Since we’ve done this a couple of times and the oven was being used for baking Thanksgiving Goodness, we opted for the burner route. Some things to note about this picture:

  1. Look how sparkly and new they look compared to when we took them out of the fire!
  2. The pan on the left already has its first coating of grease, waiting to be seasoned.
  3. The pan on the right is just finishing drying. The grease was added immediately after the picture.

Nearly refurbished cast iron

Seasoning Your Cast Iron Cookware

To do this, coat the entire pan – front, back, top, bottom, side-to-side, underneath, over-the-under, and all the other prepositions you can think of – with a high smoking point cooking grease or oil. We like Crisco or peanut oil, but I’m sure you could find something to your liking if you have something against those.

Now, “coating” doesn’t mean, “leave it a sloppy, dripping mess.” You can coat everything easily and nicely without being obnoxious. Use a paper towel to remove the excess, and there will still be enough on the cast iron to season it properly.

Once coated, pop it in the oven, or a regulated gas grill outside, set around 350 degrees F for about an hour. If you’re using your oven, put some tinfoil underneath to catch the excess grease drippings. Or don’t. Totally up to you. This may also smell up your house a little so it’s really nice if you have a big enough gas grill out your back porch.

For the best results, season your cast iron 2-4 more times before you use it again for the first time. Or if you’re impatient like me, just make sure you cook some really greasy food (like BACON) over low heat the first couple of times.

And there you have it, brand new cast iron cookware. So get out there and rummage through the garage sales! Es muy bueno!

The Great Con of T-Shirt Manufacturers

I know what you’re thinking, “what the heck does this have to do with ‘Low Gravity’ or the outdoors or climbing or anything??” The answer is simple: Nothing.

I’m doing it. I’ve said it twice in the past two posts, and I’m going to fully embrace it. I feel like I’ve lost all direction of this website and don’t have a concrete goal anymore, so you know what? This blog is going to be my blog!

Enough trying to force myself to write about things I’m not inspired about “in the moment”. Enough limiting my thoughts and words to climbing and outdoors. They’ll come back. They will. But for now, I just need to write for me. (How incredibly cliché.) And today, the burning topic on my mind:

T-shirts

Someone, somewhere, at some point – probably, “the man” – decided he or she wanted to individually mess with me. What I have done to deserve this, I do not know, but there is one thing for certain: I am being messed with.

This is a great example of several things: 1) Bathroom selfie; 2) Shrunken t-shirt; 3) Not a chick magnet; 4) Lack of muscles
This is a great example of several things: 1) Bathroom selfie; 2) Shrunken t-shirt; 3) Not a chick magnet; 4) Lack of muscles

If I go to a store, and try on a medium t-shirt that fits, it’s guaranteed to shrink after the first washing. I wash in cold; I dry on medium.

Then the next time I buy a t-shirt, I still try a medium on first, and if it fits, I’m all like, “yeah, I got you; I’m going with a large this time (thinking it will shrink and then fit well).” So, I buy a large. I wear it out in public once, slightly oversized, and then I wash it. Wash in cold, dry on medium. Guess what? It doesn’t shrink!

I now have a closet of t-shirts, half of which are slightly too small that make me look like I’m trying way too hard to show off what little muscle I have, and the other half is too big and doesn’t show off any of the little muscle I have.

One time I got so fed up with this vicious cycle that I actually spent $80 (total) on two t-shirts. I bought them to fit (in the store), wore them, washed them, and they didn’t shrink. Basically, I’ve come to this conclusion:

If you want to pay normal prices and not go broke on t-shirts, you’ll be forced to play the guessing game and become incredibly frustrated.

Or

If you want to look good, you’ll pay out your butt for higher quality fabric.

 

Either way, The Man wins, and I lose.

However, if anyone wants to point me in the direction of a t-shirt company in which this doesn’t happen and also doesn’t charge an arm and a leg, I’d be happy to try it out. Better yet, how ’bout you point the company to me. I’ll gladly take some Blue Steele photos and rep your brand. 😉

 

I’m sure you were all completely riveted by this post. Stay tuned next week when I tackle the hard hitting issue of pants for guys with athletic builds. It’ll be a nail biter!