My buddy Vinny Vasquez had “no shame december” and a week long trip that turned into “no shame trip to the west coast”. Can’t say that I’ve ever had a week or a month of no shame.  So, I thought I’d try out just a day to start…

This was my first trip to the Great MN Get Together, aka MN State Fair, and I needed to make sure I had a plan. I hopped online, checked out all the food vendors and made a list of eveything I wanted to eat.

When I got there, I quickly realized that I would not be able to go in the order I wished. I did hold out and make sure that the first thing I ate was gonna be worth it. I wasn’t going to start with something near the bottom.

We walked around for a little while, and I spotted mini-donuts. They are DEFINITELY worthy of the #1 spot. 16 mini-donuts covered in cinnamon and sugar? Yes, please!

I had fasted for 18 hours prior to eating anything so just that sweet, succulent taste of cinnamon and sugar really got my hunger revved up. We checked the map and headed straight to the footlong prontopup stand.

After a brief stop for a couple shots at a basketball hoop (air balled the first, drained the second-nuthin but net), we started walking aimlessly and stumbled upon deepfried candy bars. I opted for Snickers. It was good, but not worth it. As you’ll see later, I wish I would have “saved the calories” (lol, as if that mattered that day) for brownies or Martha’s Cookies.

At this point, I was starting to get a little full. But not quite too full. We had no idea where the gator was and checked a bunch of different places. We ended up walking quite a bit before we finally found it. There was deepfried gator nuggets, but I really wanted to see what it tasted like. I opted for the “healthy” version of sauteed gator on a bed of fries.

Ok, I was pretty full now. Not only was I getting full, but massive amounts of sugar and fats wasn’t agreeing with me either. I do like to brag about how “dirty” I eat, but even my stomach isn’t used to that kind of abuse.

We decided to walk around and try see the rest of the fair. I was pretty lost the entire time and only started recognizing where we were at the end of the day. Along our travels we saw this. I stayed away.

We actually walked around quite a bit and saw a couple exhibits, like an old-timey wood worker using a lathe made of twine and branches from trees. I’m pretty dorky like that, but it shouldn’t surprise you if you know how much I love the outdoors.

Then we ended up in the “kids square” somehow. Fitting for my childish sense of humor at times. We saw some C-list dance group, but the dudes could do some impressive stuff…like one-handed, handstand push-ups. I gotta respect that.

Well, enough time had passed, and I was getting hungry again. Off to find some fried pickles, a staple in my diet when I lived in TX. They weren’t as good, but the best that I’ve had up here in the 3 years I’ve been back.

As I walked and ate, I decided I was thirsty. My co-worker told me about a tasty beverage called the Beergarita. Found it. Tried it. Liked it (even though it gave me a brain freeze).

Next we hit up the horticulture building. Why? Idk. Wtf else are you supposed to do? They had Cider Freeze. I guess it was good. IMO (in my opinion), it kind of tasted like frozen apple cider. Strange?

More walking. Saw the United Hippy Socialist Party stand. I wanted to start chanting gun rights and illegal immigration propaganda but decided not to.

More walking. More eating. This was actually fun to say: Texas Tornado Potatoes. (Seasoned fried potato slices) At this point, I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to eat much more.

I WAS WRONG!!!!! I saw this and it had to be done. HAD TO!! Chocolate dipped cheesecake. With a SPORK?! Are you F*CKIN KIDDING ME?!?! Yes, please!!!

That thing was thick!! (That’s what she said.)

I thought for sure I was done. I really didn’t plan on anything else. I was happy as a hog in a mud pit (quite literally). However, my friend just haaaad to find a GD non-alcoholic pina colada….in a pineapple. That was damn near an adventure in itself. However, we found it….and I found a brat stand. Not just any brat stand though. They had a most glorious variation. It was a brat with mashed potatoes, onions, and saur kraut wrapped in lefse. GTFO!! This picture doesn’t do it justice, but it was pretty messy to eat and no good way of picturizing it.

Believe it or not, I woke up a pound LIGHTER than the day of no shame. How did I do it? Well, I fasted for 18 hours beforehand. That didn’t hurt. We also probably walked….just guessing, no real idea….6 miles….maybe? Even still, I didn’t expect that. I whole heartidly expected to have to fast for 24 hours after. Glad I didn’t.

Saturday, I was just kind of a lazy bum. All day outside really messed me up with my allergies, and I really wasn’t feeling human. But then I got a call from one Megan K Fitness, and she wanted to grab a burger at 5 Guys. How could I pass that up?!

So, in the end, I had my day of no shame, followed it up with a 5 Guys double bacon cheeseburger and fries, and have gained zero pounds. Well, I trained today so there’s a chance I still may have actually ended up losing weight over the weekend. So awesome. Thank you, metabolic flexibility!

Don’t Miss Your Chance

I was stuck in Corporate America for 9 years. I was miserable.

Then I took control.

You can too, and it starts right here.