I mean, really. Let’s be honest with ourselves, shall we? Hiking is really just walking. Except, walking with a pack on our backs, maybe with some fancy footwear or clothing, to a destination other than the grocery store.

Why would you ever want to walk just for the sake of walking? There’s plenty of other hugely popular and entertaining pastimes in which you could be doing:

• Watching TV
• Eating Doritos on the couch
• Digging a hole in your back yard
• Blasting music to annoy your neighbor
• Looking at that weird thing that randomly showed up on your neck last week
• Reading this website

You get the idea.

Why would you ever want to go see something like this:

Or this:

You think seeing wild animals is cool? Pfffffft. Ever heard of the Discovery Channel or the BBC, bub?

Ok, let’s pretend I actually get to my car. Why walk when the animals come to me…WHILE SITTING IN MY CAR!!

So please, don’t let your friends talk you into changing your life. I wouldn’t bother getting involved with the cheapest and easiest outdoor activty there is. You might find you like it. That would be horrendous. Just think of how many episodes of Dexter you’d miss. You might actually lose a few pounds or get a tan too. Gross.

I don’t know about you, but I’m sticking with the Lord of The Rings Trilogy. You ever seen the scenery in there? Not to mention it fills an entire day if you watch all three extended versions back-to-back-to-back.