I woke up around 3am this morning, slipping in and out of sleep paralysis, and for some reason, I could NOT get this post out of my head. Not real sure what it was. At first I was just thinking about food and meal timing. Then it turned into lifts and exercises. Lastly, I started thinking about daily activities, like doing karate in your basement with a Samurai sword, that are also highly psychologically anabolic (read: make you feel badass).

So, without further ado, here’s my list…


Food is anabolic in the sense it’s what feeds your muslces after a training session. Train hard; eat big….but not so big that it outdoes your training. My top anabolic foods are:

7) Protein Shake with Orange Juice. I know, it sounds gross, right? I have no idea what made me try it, but one day I mixed my chocolate protein powder with orange juice and it was bomb.com. Gives you the simple carbs and protein you need after a wicked session.

6) Lasagna. Meat, cheeses, pasta, more cheese, more meat, and some seasonings. Need I say more?

5) Any type of chicken with rice. I usually end up buying the frozen bags of chicken breasts just because they’re cheaper and I eat so much of it. If I bought fresh chicken every week, I’d be one poor mother f*cker. However, if boneless, skinless chicken thighs ever go on sale, I’ll snatch those b*tches up. As for my rice, I prefer risotto because it’s cooked with delicious butter, onions, and chicken stock.

4) Seafood and your choice of carb. I couldn’t decide on what kind of seafood because I haven’t met a fish, crustacean, muscle, lizard that lives in water that I don’t like….as long as it’s prepared correctly. Actually, I take that back. Eel sushi is the suck. Bleh.

3) Homemade burritos. The white floury deliciousness of tortilla shells cannot be denied. Add in sour cream, cheese, onions, black olives, and lettuce and I’m a happy man. I usually use 93/7 ground sirloin. NOTE: You have to be careful with this one. The tortillas, sour cream, and cheese are pretty high calorie. Make sure you stay within your caloric goals.

2) 22oz. T-bones and monster baked potato. They say a picture is worth a thousand words.


1) Chipotle/Baja Sol/Qdoba. The only thing better than homemade burritos are amazing burritos that are made for you. I don’t know how they do it, but they can fit, literally, an entire pound of amazing goodness into one shell. The options here are much greater than I have at home. Again, note, you should probably only do this after your heaviest days of lifting.

**Extra awesome note: Do you notice that I don’t prohibit ANYTHING from my diet? The only thing that prohibits me from day to day is total grams of protein and total caloric intake. Stay within your guidelines, and nothing should be off limits.


Hopefully by now most of you know my thoughts on training. Lift often, lift heavy, use big muscle groups. These things are anabolic. Calf raises, hip abduction/adduction machines, Smith Machines, and P90X are EXTREMELY catabolic. They make you look like a retard, and they should all be avoided like the plague.

(This guy is doing P90X. Sweet, right?)

What lifts I prioritize vary on what my goals are, what I’ve been doing, and what I haven’t done in awhile. So, that said, here are my priorities now:

5) Squatting. I know, I know. “Squatting is at the bottom of my list?!?! ZOMG!!!” Listen, my legs are pretty big already (compared to the rest of me body), and I’m not planning any powerlifting competitions. I still squat heavy from time to time, but it’s not something I test everytime I go to the gym. If it’s a scheduled lower day, and I actually feel like squatting, I’ll test it out. If not, I go to my next lower body priority.

4) Kettlebell Long Cycle (Clean and Jerk). I love this lift because it’s freaking hard. I hate this lift because it’s freaking hard! It’s my primary form of cardio, and it helps with my other vertical presses. Also…makes my yoke look sweet. Mike Nelson put up a post of me being taught the Long Cycle from Adam Glass up on his website.

3a) Bench Pressing. As I stated in a recent post, I don’t really care for traditional pressing. Reverse axle has been my dawg lately. I still do traditional when it tests well.

3b) Deadlift. Probably the most anabolic lift there is. It’s only rival may be its cousin, one of the many Olympic Cleaning Variations. The crazy thing with this one is that Romanian Deadlifts are testing MUCH better than regular deadlifts lately. Hmmm….

(Almost a year old already. DAMN!!)

1) Standing Shoulder Press. I have neglected this lift for my entire life. (ENTIRE LIFE!!) Sure, I would do them as a supplement lift when I was forced to, but I have never ever never liked it. I’m not sure what the hell has gotten into me, but I press as often as my body will allow…which is pert near everyday.


These things are very anabolic because they’re good for the mind and spirit. A healthy mind will yield great results in the gym. When my life is going great, my training sessions are awesome. When my life takes a temporary dump on me, my training sucks moose balls. Do these things to ensure “Epic” status.

6) Doing shit not everyone else can/will attempt. Sadly, I don’t do enough of this. I used to. Mountain biking was great because you can easily hurt yourself. Badly. I need to find something else other than the occasional bridge jump to fill this void in my life.

5) Reading. I currently have 6 books in my queue. Sadly, it will take me forever to read them due to not having time. And I will most likely add more along the way. They range from investing to business to Classical Lit to Greek History to becoming a pick-up artist. Being well rounded is the epitomy of badass.

4) Watching other badasses on TV. I just went on a two week bender watching the “Rome” series and the first season of “Spartacus: Blood and Sand”. If those guys aren’t badass, I don’t know who is. (Insert gay joke here.)

3) Loud Music. Some people like to restrict your choice to a certain genre. Not me. I like rock, metal, hip-hop, and the occasional teeny-pop song. As long as it hits you and it’s cranked as loud as you can stand, you will instantly be in a better mood.

2) Playtime with the partner of your choosing (or just the one you get stuck with). Do I really need to explain this one?

1) Not giving a fuck. This is the ultimate in badassness. Once you stop caring about what everyone else thinks about you, you are genuinely free to be you. People will flock to you with this type of attitude. I don’t why, probably because you’re the life of the party without even trying, but people love it.

For the most EPIC fucking post I’ve EVER read on being badass, please click here.

Follow these guidelines and you will have the perfect storm of anabolism (not cannibalism). Train hard, feed your body what it needs, and be mentally ready to take on anything thrown your way. You’ll be bulletproof.

Don’t Miss Your Chance

I was stuck in Corporate America for 9 years. I was miserable.

Then I took control.

You can too, and it starts right here.